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Shirley Golden, 19 Jul '12

When Freddie said he'd found a portal to another dimension, I laughed.

        When he appeared a week later with Parallel Me, it wasn't so funny. Freddie warned us not to touch. Right away I knew I wasn't going to get along with my counterpart. He was taller and stronger and brighter than me.

        He lived on Second Earth, working on the Dimension Project. He'd been invited to contribute to time travel experiments. The only invitation I'd had of late was to a furniture shop sale.

        'First Earth is going to experience its final day very soon,' he said with an annoying shrug.
        
        'Can we stop it?'

        'No. It's inevitable.'

        He hadn't learned my economy with the truth.

        'So, we're going to die?'

        He gave me my wilting look.

        I glanced at Freddie, who was busy zipping up his jacket.

        'I mean, we're going to die soon?'

        'Well, me and Freddie are going back through the portal,' Parallel Me explained.

        'Can't I come with you?' A pleading note crept into my voice.

        'Impossible.' He turned away, his hand wave signalling the end of our discussion in a way I'd always imagined was cool. I felt sick.

        And I understood our fate; I tapped lightly on his shoulder.

        The explosion of matter meeting anti-matter was global: the final day for First Earth.

Comments · 19

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  • Shirley Golden said...

    Thank you, Timothy and Bill :)

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • Rachel Anderson said...

    Step 1: Find out the world is ending.
    Step 2: Destroy it prematurely by doing the one thing you know you shouldn't.

    I loved this piece so much! I was laughing even though I knew I probably shouldn't have been ... the end of the world is serious business, I think. Your narrative character is so lovable as well! The reflection and cheek kept it light. Have I said already that I loved this?

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • Shirley Golden said...

    Thank you so much, @Rachel Anderson It's so lovely to hear when one of my stories is appreciated :)

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • Deb Howell said...

    This is neat. And it leaves us with the question: Would First Earth have ended if they hadn't touched? Just 'cause someone said so didn't make it true ... We will never know, eh? (o:
    Great work.

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • Shirley Golden said...

    Thanks @Deb Howell I appreciate your taking the time to comment and I'm pleased you enjoyed it!

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • Nick Johns said...

    HI Shirley

    Thanks for this. On first read It made me smile. On the re-read there are lots of things to like:
    Great attention grabbing first line
    Nice use of dialogue to both move the story and to flesh out the characters.
    Funny (and clever) self-referential comments
    Good strong ending.

    Re your earlier point about editing down, I think you have done a great job whilst not losing the story or the protagonist. IMO you might even take another cut or two and lose nothing - the line about Freddie zipping his jacket?

    Liked it a lot :-)

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • Shirley Golden said...

    Belated thanks for your feedback, @Nick Johns I think you're right about cutting down even further - less is always more IMO :)

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • Massimo Marino said...

    Nice, Shirley. I liked the fact that—maybe—implicitly the 2nd Earth must be better. Parallel Me...you just hate those better than you, pretending to be you ;-)

    • Posted 5 years ago
  • james garrison said...

    That was a fun read. Very clean and nicely done. I wouldn't worry about anyone not 'getting it,' the story works just fine.

    • Posted 4 years ago