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Anthony Blackshaw, 19 Jul '12

        I made a promise to a friend.


        The scene is hauntingly similar. Mary is sat in a chair next to the bed where our Issy is lying. She drops her hands from her face and looks up at me. Her mouth is open and she's sobbing but there's no sound. I want to go to her, to move from the doorway and to hold her but I'm scared.
        There's a nurse the opposite side of the bed from where Mary is. She's carefully removing the lines and monitoring pads from the little blonde haired girl lying motionless in the bed. Noticing me she stops, opens her mouth as if to say something but changes her mind and looks away.
        Mary puts a hand on the side of the bed and tries to stand but her legs won't hold her. The nurse makes to move around towards her but I'm already there on the floor. She takes my hands in hers and looks at me. I can't meet her gaze and so she places a hand on my face and brings my eyes to hers.
        “I promised. I'm sorry.” I manage to mouth without sounding the words.

        I don't know if she understood what I said but suddenly she's pulling me into her and we're holding each other.

        I know I have to stand up. I have to look at my angel.

        I get to my feet and look down at Issy. There are little patches of lighter skin under her nose from where tubes had been taped down but she looks just the same. I can see my friend in her, the shape of her mouth, her nose. In my head I can see his face too as if he's lying next to her. He's talking to me.
        “Promise me you'll look after them, Issy and Mary. Promise me.”

        I promised.

Comments · 4

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  • Anthony Blackshaw said...

    I'm writing a longer story at the moment in the third person so as a break I decided to write something in the first.

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Jessica Cambrook said...

    Is it weirdly morbid I found the last two lines really sweet? I read this through twice to make sure I had the story right, a man made a promise to his dying friend that he would look after his wife and daughter? Anyway, regardless of that, the story was haunting, the sadness was apparent from the first paragraph. I really liked this.

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Anthony Blackshaw said...

    Hi @Jessica Cambrook thanks and you got it right :) It's about a guy who makes a promise to look after his friend's wife and child after he's gone, but things don't work out that way.

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Shirley Golden said...

    I think you capture the emotions of the characters well. I felt this was part of a longer piece as I wanted to know more - not a bad thing!

    • Posted 10 years ago