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Erin Gilstrap, 14 Aug '13

Therapist: "And you two aren't together anymore?"

Ellie: " Uh... no. We broke up like six months ago, actually. I think about it a lot... the breakup. And him. But it's not really painful anymore. It used to make me sad to even think about him. But now.. now it's just okay."

"After awhile things just didn't feel the same. It felt like it was over before it even was over... But I didn't say anything because I hoped it was just me. I hoped that we could work things out, and have everything be okay again like it was in the beginning."

"There's not really a sob story as to how our relationship ended. There was another girl, and there was me, and he chose the other girl. At first he said it was just a loss of feelings, that it was just "something he came too." But it was bullshit. Those last few months.. were just bullshit."

" I hoped more than anything that it wasn't another girl. I hoped and hoped and hoped. People say that.. hope is the only thing stronger than fear. "

"And it's true. I HOPED that it wasn't another girl more than I FEARED it was another girl. But fear and hope? scoff Well, they both fuckin' hurt in the end anyway."

Comments · 4

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  • Erin Gilstrap said...

    This is actually an excerpt from a short story I finished a while back called "Healing." These were the last couple of paragraphs, and I really liked them, so I thought I'd share. Hope you enjoy! :)

    • Posted 6 years ago
  • Mary Beth W. said...

    I like this, but there seems like there's something missing. I was waiting for what I like to call "The Final Punch," that thing that has to be present to kind of give the whole thing a point, whether it turns everything on it's head (if you use irony, etc) or just finishes everything. But, yeah, it doesn't really feel finished. Your Final Punch, I think, was supposed to be the ending line (please correct me if I was wrong), but it didn't have that punch. It's definitely punch potential, though :)
    Another thing I didn't quite get... "At first he said it was just a loss of feelings, that it was just "something he same too." I don't quite understand what you mean by that. I think maybe you missed a word or something, again, correct me if I'm wrong and not reading that right. And the scoff at the end I liked, but I think, because it's a noise and not an actual word, it should be "But fear and hope?" She scoffed. "Well, they both fuckin' hurt in the end anyway."
    I really liked in the beginning you stuck in that 'like' in "We broke up like six months ago, actually." It mirrors modern speech and I love when writer's do that! We're not living in the seventeenth century anymore, this is how people talk now, you know?

    • Posted 6 years ago
  • Erin Gilstrap said...

    @Mary Beth W. I totally understand you and the whole "Final Punch" thing. I think it's actually because this is an excerpt from another writing of mine... but if I had added the other half, it would've been too long, and pretty confusing since there's other characters mentioned that weren't in my burrst. And thank ya! Hahaha :)
    And what I meant by this; ---> "At first he said it was just a loss of feelings, that it was just "something he same too." Was that the boy made a decision. The other girl wasn't initially his first choice, but he had had a loss of feelings, and he just "came to the decision". In that sentance I actually put same instead of came, so maybe that caused the confusion? ._.
    Hahaha, and thank you! I think it's because I actually am young, but yeah, I feel you on that! Hahaha, thanks so much for commenting!

    • Posted 6 years ago
  • Orlando Ramos said...

    @Mary Beth W. @Erin Gilstrap I liked the way it ended actually. More because, in real life, the way hope and fear hurt is as abrupt as your ending. It comes from nowhere and it just hurts. The pain coming at all is the final punch. At least I think so. Great writing!

    • Posted 6 years ago