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Charlotte Williams, 25 Jul '13

Another wasted Friday night with you; the sun kisses the horizon goodnight and her absence allows an all-encompassing darkness to spread like a wave, dissolving all in its path. Your apartment is a beacon in the blackness; a warm sanctuary amongst the danger when ironically, the only threat to my sanity is inside, her naked body hunched over a book in a bubble bath I ran.

You catch me watching you from the door, ajar and welcome me with a wry smile. There’s only love in my eyes, only desire and this pure form of contentedness; a nameless emotion that fills me completely with a warm glow and the feeling that there is nothing else in the world that I need more than this. Your eyes tell me you want me to come closer, your lips move and the words that tumble from your lips beckon me closer again in poetry, in the softest key of your voice. I obey because there’s no other option for me, nothing I desire more. I slip out of what little clothes I donned, out of the over-large white shirt that I was drowning in and my underwear, and step into the comfortable heat of your bath water.

There’s innocence in the atmosphere though; in your eyes, in the nerves that are causing your smirk to twitch a little. Your expression changes instantly after I steal a tender kiss and suddenly you’re as vulnerable as you’ve ever been. You’re staring at me with wide, expectant eyes and I don’t know what to do with that. You’re so nervous I can feel your heartbeats causing soft ripples in the water around us. I take your hand in mind, trying to keep a cool head when in actuality my heart is beating out of my chest too. This is new and scary but new and scary is what we both signed up for, so you squeeze my hand back and kiss me with a fiery passion.

I have your lipstick stains painting every inch of my brain a bloody colour, bruising my skin a purple shade but I never complained and never asked you to stop. You planted explosives in every crevice of my being and I stood perfectly still so as to allow you to work me over with the ease you desired. Now, you have the power to destroy me in the most brutal fashion if you so wished and I would be incapable of stopping you. Maybe I’m not thinking clearly, but I don’t think I would want to stop you when that day finally comes.

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