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Hugo Müller-Downing, 23 Jun '12

He drifted off to sleep. The lullaby did not seem to end. The sound soared through his mind, spiraling down into its dark depths. He woke. The sun shining through the seams in the curtains. He looked around, a vivid white surrounded him, a hospital maybe? He didn't know. He heard a voice, a child, calling his name. Daddy! Daddy! It said, on and on. A drone, a shout, a scream and then it was gone.

And then, he started to remember. The pain, the ill forgotten love, his children and his hate. Had it not been for the doctors, he would have died. The family had often pondered what to do with him. Left in a coma for several years had bled any hope they had for him.

"Pull the plug?", little Tom said in bewilderment.
"Yes, darling."

She had waited for him but he never came. Sat by his bed day and night, longing for her other half. And now it was finally over. The sorrow would soon seep away and she would be left with Tom.

Oh, how Tom had flourished in his bitter fathers absence. Nothing held him back now.

She heard the tempo of the machine slow and stop. She choked back tears as the machine screamed.

Comments · 6

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  • Anthony Blackshaw said...

    Hey @Hugo Müller-Downing fantastic debut - welcome to Burrst.

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Hugo Müller-Downing said...

    @Anthony Blackshaw Thanks! I was going to suggest a save button but then I read the FAQ, no saving, straight out of your head and onto the web!

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Robert Sweeney said...

    A really awesome piece, You build up an atmosphere that immerses the reader in the story fantastically. I'll certainly be following you and awaiting your next piece eagerly.

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Anthony Blackshaw said...

    @Hugo Müller-Downing though you can only save & post (as you say that's one of the principles of Burrst), you might be interested to know the site does try to auto save whatever your writing in the browser's local storage (if supported). So for example if you start writing, then browse to a different page, when you return to writing, your burst should still be there. We added the feature just to make sure people don't lose what they're writing by accidentally leaving the page.

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Hugo Müller-Downing said...

    @Anthony Blackshaw Yes, I noticed that when I accidentally closed the page only to find it had be saved (Phew!), thanks for that!

    @Robert Sweeney Thanks! I'm hoping to find some time to write again this week. It's great seeing all the creativity on this website!

    • Posted 10 years ago
  • Jessica Cambrook said...

    Really good story! I had to read it three times, I like the way you don't spoon feed your readers with what's going on. Dark and mysterious and for some reason I really loved the last line, very clever.

    • Posted 10 years ago