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Mollie Hyde, 20 Sep '12

Going Insane

It started just as it had the last time. The shadows lurking in the bathroom's corners suddenly lurched outwards, their wispy fingers grasping for her desperately. The warm water that had been lapping at her ankles only moments before was now blood red. No, it was blood. Smacking her palms to her temples she told herself it was all in her head. Next would come the cries of pain, subconsciously she moved her palms to her ears. She knew that this was a useless action, her palms wouldn't even muffle the cries, for they were in her head and impossible to block, nevertheless she pressed her palms down harder. Was she crazy? Most definitely, it wouldn't be long before they brandished her with a mental illness and stuck her in the loony bin with the rest of them. As the cries started up, she began rocking herself back and forth soothingly.

Comments · 3

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  • Mollie Hyde said...

    My first burrst!:)

    • Posted 7 years ago
  • Ross Tarran said...

    Hi @Mollie Hyde, welcome to Burrst! There were a couple of little mistakes I spotted - 'corners' doesn't need the apostrophe, and there seems to be a word missing in 'their wispy fingers (grasping?) for her desperately'. You can edit any burst you write within the first 24 hours if you like.
    This was well written though; quite disturbing and manages to convey the helplessness and sense of despair. Scary...

    • Posted 7 years ago
  • Betsy Riley said...

    Very nice Mollie--you've captured the mood perfectly. Makes me want to read more.
    Grammar nitpicks: I think you mean "branded", "brandished" means "to wave about", like "He brandished his sword". And moving her palms to her ears would be "unconsciously" instead of "subconsciously.

    • Posted 7 years ago