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Rebecca Lambert, 01 Sep '12

I am lost. The heavy rain pelts down in sheets. My wet clothes cling to my cold skin and my hair’s glued to my head. I’m freezing cold. My teeth chatter and I’m shivering so badly I can hardly see. I say nothing for I cannot speak. I know that even if I could it would be futile. I hope – who am I kidding? There is no hope.
The dustbin lids clang in protest as the hail pours down relentlessly. There are shadows everywhere – a small, curved figure slinks over the edge of a brick wall, hissing. Out of the corner of my eye I catch sight of a tall, slender figure. I spin round only to find the same overflowing bin bags, rustling angrily.
The dim, flickering of the rusty streetlamp provides little light. The thin veil of mist over the moon can’t contain its eerie glow, which always seems to stare at me. It reflects in the puddles and bin lids. I try to escape but to no avail.
I wander around the endless maze of identical alleyways for ages. My thoughts whirl around in my head, making me dizzy. Would I ever get out? Would someone find me? If they did, would they help or would they be as cruel and harsh as the downpour. I stop in the alley and slump against a wall. I hug my knees and try to steady my heart before it leaps out of my chest. My throat’s swollen shut. Where am I? I am lost. Never to be found.

Comments · 6

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  • Rebecca Lambert said...

    You know when you look back at some of your old work and some of it is useless but you realize with a bit of tweaking some of it could be quite good? This was it. At least I hope it's good! :)

    • Posted 8 years ago
  • Anthony Blackshaw said...

    Hi Rebecca, welcome to Burrst.

    I know exactly what you mean, I think at least 4 of my burst so far have been either inspired by reading something I previously wrote, or as you say, just taking something and improving it.

    • Posted 8 years ago
  • Michael McClung said...

    Hi Rebecca, a good evocative burst. When you go back to play around with it again, you'll notice the pov character says he can't see or hear anything, but then he/she does (rain etc).

    • Posted 8 years ago
  • Rebecca Lambert said...

    Thank you Michael. I have changed that now x

    • Posted 8 years ago
  • Mikey Jackson said...

    Wow, this is exceptional writing. Why? Because you use the power of words to convey, emotion, the fear of being lost, the storm, everything.
    It puts the reader into the story. :)

    • Posted 8 years ago
  • Jessica Cambrook said...

    Intriguing and I love your descriptions. You're good at evoking fear with your dark writing.

    • Posted 8 years ago