Skip to content



H.L. Pauff, 21 Aug '12

“If only you hadn’t opened that door,” Dr. Robins yelled to me.

“Do something,” I screamed back to her. “I’m going to die.”

I held onto the door handle for dear life. The slime was seeping through my pant leg and I could feel my leg hair clustering together in a big nasty matted knot. There were moments when the tentacle would loosen for a second, giving me hope, only to then shimmer further up my leg and wrap itself even tighter. Every time it yanked, the door would creak and you could hear the sound of the wood splintering. I was afraid the door was going to fall right off its hinges. I’d really be in trouble then.

The tentacle kept wriggling on the floor, leaving a huge trail of slime that they were going to make me clean up tomorrow. It was always something with these people.

“If I get out of this alive I’m going to quit,” I said as the tentacle pulled again.

“You said that when the giant spiders got loose,” Dr. Chester answered back. He was pouring the purple contents of a beaker over the tentacle. When nothing happened, he stepped back and muttered “interesting.”

“I mean it this time,” I said.

“You said that after you got infected by the moon virus,” Dr. Robins said, trying to wrestle the mop away from Vlad. Of all the people in the room, I thought Vlad “The Mechanic” had the best approach. When kicking the tentacle didn’t work, he picked up my mop and started hitting it.

“This is a very expensive life form,” she tried to tell Vlad. He let go of the mop and shook his head and shrugged. Even though he didn’t speak English, he knew as well as I did that these people were crazy.

“I don’t know why I put up with this. I can be a janitor anywhere,” I said. The tentacle pulled again and one of the screws popped from the door handle. “Hurry!” I pleaded. “It’s going to eat me.”

“Relax,” Dr. Chester said, stirring the contents of another beaker. “I’ve got this under control. Why’d you open the door anyway?”

“I…I thought…”

“Go on,” Dr. Robins said with a big smile on her face.

“I thought…it said…Muffin Lab,” I responded, hanging my head. If my hands were free I would have covered my ears to avoid the laughter. Dr. Chester roared and spilled some of the liquid in his beaker while Dr. Robins nearly fell to the ground laughing.

“How did you misread that one?” Dr. Robins said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It clearly says Monster Lab.”

“Shut up! Just get me out of here.”

Comments · 1

Page 1 of 1

  • Anthony Blackshaw said...

    Enjoyed immensely! Quirky and very funny (liked and added to my library).

    I noticed a small thing >> "The tentacle pulled again and one the screws..." >> "The tentacle pulled again and one *of* the screws..."

    • Posted 5 years ago