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Jamie Thomas, 28 Jul '12

Sometimes Barb just knew that a customer was bad news. She had been in the business for 10 years now. She knew how the streets worked, and knew how to work them well. Her experience meant that she knew how to stay out of trouble, but it also meant that she had had a fair bit of trouble to learn from. She knew what it felt like to catch a disease, or be beaten or psychologically abused. It was this experience that gave Barb hesitation when she saw the sleek car pull up to the side of the road.

The expensive car meant big money, which was very rare around this side of town. Big money usually preferred upper class call girls, discreet but easily accessible, with higher reputations than the women of night. Some of the other girls who idly stood on the street had noticed the potential danger too. They looked at Barb, expecting her to tell them what they should do. Barb stood about 10 feet from the car, still uncertain as hell. As she assessed the situation, she made mental notes. Black audi, registration R7O1 XEZ.

Barb pulled her shawl around her bare shoulders, covering the bare flesh of her stomach and most of her chest. She wished she had worn a longer skirt. The night was so so cold, and a customer taking a girl in for the night would do them wonders. Barb decided to let this customer take in one of the younger girls. One less used to the cold.

An arm came out of the car window, and beckoned forward one of the newer girls. Her name was Cindy. At least that was the name she told everyone. She sheepishly walked towards the car, wrapping her arms around her midsection. Barb's knowledge of body language told her that this was Cindy's way of trying to protect herself, showing how scared and new she was to this. The customer would see this too. Cindy let her skimpy fur coat hang low on her bare shoulders, and leant over to the car window. She was scared, but she still remembered to flaunt her good features. Suddenly, the arm wrapped itself around Cindy's neck, pulling her closer.

Fear flashed across Cindy's face and Barb was at her side in seconds, heels clacking on the pavement. The man in the passenger seat was wearing a grey suit jacket which stood out against the black leather interior. His face was obscured by the mess of blonde hair that spilled over him from Cindy's head. He was smelling her hair. Smelling her neck.

"No action without payment," said Barb, yanking Cindy away from the man.

His face was revealed to be that of a handsome young business man, not dissimilar to the men Barb's mother had had Barb working for in her younger years. His skin was pale, and his hair was more grey than black, although it was hard to tell in the darkness of the night. His lips curled into a sinister grin, and his eyes shone brightly. The eyes were grey, and brought back memories of rainy days and funerals in films. They looked dead, but retained a deep sexual yet insatiable hunger. Before Barb could react, a wad of several £20 notes were shoved into her open hand. Barb didn't count them, but she knew it was well above Cindy's price range.

"I'll keep these for you, ok Cind?"

Barb managed to keep up the fearless pimp look, and motioned for Cindy to climb into the car. Within moments, Cindy and the man in the grey suit had disappeared as the car sped off down the street. The night was so cold, and Barb wrapped her shawl around herself tightly. It would do Cindy good to spend the night in a warm penthouse or hotel suite, and the money was too much to refuse. Despite all this, the choice Barb had made played on her mind all night. She had known the man was bad news. Yet she had still let him take Cindy. Had she made the wrong decision? Had she cost Cindy her life?

Comments · 5

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  • Jamie Thomas said...

    I know this isn't the best piece of writing I have done, but I liked the idea of building up the story of Barb over a couple of burrsts. I hope you guys like it, and I hope you are intrigued about Barb :) Open to criticism as always :)

    • Posted 7 years ago
  • Jessica Cambrook said...

    @Liam Volk definitely agree about Ellen Page! This was actually an excellent story, I loved how strong Barb tried to appear and her antithesis, Cindy. Most stories about prostitutes are derogatory, using them as items rather than characters but you really humanised them, making the customer the bad guy. It seemed really realistic too, with her insider knowledge about the cars and customers. I'd love to read more about Barb and the outcome of Cindy's night, please write more!

    • Posted 7 years ago
  • Jamie Thomas said...

    Thanks @Liam Volk and @Jessica Cambrook! I'm glad you guys enjoyed :) I love how you guys are talking about who should be cast in the roles! I love thinking of who would play the characters on screen for all of the books I read, so I loved hearing Ellen Page and Jennifer Connelly! Thanks guys :)

    • Posted 7 years ago
  • Charlotte Buchanan said...

    Loved this bit too, even though I'm reading the chapters in reverse, so to speak. I like Barb's common sense and strength. As a stand alone piece, the last sentence is fine and lets the reader know the end. I personally think it gives too much away when the above forms the first part of a series. It's still really good though - have a "like" from me!

    • Posted 7 years ago
  • Jamie Thomas said...

    I know exactly what you mean @Charlotte Buchanan and thanks for your advice :) Writing the last line and making it effective is definitely something I struggle with a lot, so I will definitely try to work on that :)

    • Posted 7 years ago